Stressed Managers

It’s the Christmas season and time to start thinking about the Christmas office party. The one time of the year we can all let our hair down and enjoy the Christmas cheer together. It’s the one occasion you can snog your boss and watch your manager make a drunken fool of himself. Lets spare a thought for our managers for a moment. Could it be managers are the most stressed out people in the office? Managers pressure from Above and below In fact it’s in our best interest to keep our managers stress free and calm this Christmas, because stress is so contagious. Like second-hand smoke, stress spreads just as fast and lingers for just as long. There’s a fine line between bad stress and good stress. Good stress is called ‘Eustress’ and it motivates us to be more than what we think we are, while bad stress is called ‘Anger’ and it leads to chronic illnesses like heart disease and death. A good manager is someone who delegates tasks and checks their own stress levels to ensure their stress doesn’t affect others. Good managers will never under-estimate the ill affects of second-hand stress. Learn to stay alert and set your boundaries against stressful external sources, because it’s very easy to let someone else’s anxiety or sense of urgency increase your own inner feelings of stress. Second-hand stress is as contagious as the pneumonic plague! It’s that serious!   A good manager is a good communicator Pressured from above to get the job done on time, within budget and by the book; a good manager will turn the stress...

The Killing Fields

We live in a world where we have to get from place A to B as quickly as possible and we each have our favourite mode of transport to do it with. Out of them all, train, car and plane, cycling is the cheapest and fittest way to travel. It takes a brave soul to get on a saddle and engage with the busy and congested roads of London on a daily basis. Alas it also appears to be the most dangerous, with the tragic death of the 6th cyclist in the last few months, and the 14th this year. London is in shock London has never been so congested. The morning rush ‘hour’ starts at about 5.30am on major roads and lasts for up to three hours. In some parts of London, journey times are so slow, traffic moves at around one mile per hour. No wonder people are choosing to cycle in more and more numbers. Health officials and the London Major’s office will find a way to improve the roads for both cyclist and motorist. The recent tragic deaths can only be truly honoured with a legacy of a smart London road system which ensures nobody dies on it’s roads. As always with facing such drastic measures, the debate between cyclists and motorists has once again erupted. Sadly both the cyclists and motorists are missing the most tragic point; it isn’t their riding or driving ability thats the danger on the roads, it’s their anger level once they sit on the saddle or behind the wheel. The danger on the roads isn’t our riding or driving...

Christmas – Don’t get your Tinsel in a Tangle

    Christmas is coming and the most stressful time of the year is drawing near. So much to do. The tree is top priority, followed closely by presents, food, drink and good-cheer in equal measure. Christmas is the most stressful time of the year. More than half of us have family disagreements and a quarter of us say our relationships with our partners come under immense pressure. We have never been under so much pressure to deliver a perfect Christmas. We’re lured into thinking Christmas is perfect by the glossy TV Christmas adverts, with celebrities smiling as they huddle around the Christmas tree exchanging gifts, beautifully wrapped. Everyone must be happy and cheerful through the season of goodwill. No one is allowed to be sad or depressed. NO ONE MUST GET ANGRY!             Here’s what to do and not to do over Xmas. Prepare, prepare, prepare! Its the only way you’ll give yourself the time to relax and enjoy the day. Don’t give yourself a hard time making everything perfect. Stop and look at the bigger picture, its just one day! Think about the incidents, which press your buttons in all the wrong ways. Our buttons are unique to all of us and what makes one person angry is completely different to the next. Figure out a strategy of how you are going to deal with those circumstances, whether it’s a brother-in-law, mother-in-law or wife.   Think about the Bigger Picture! Christmas is the one day that getting angry isn’t worth the long term consequences. You are never as good as your last...

Stress and Low Self-Esteem

Mike Fisher is Europe’s leading expert on stress and anger management. As the founder of the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM), and having helped over 16,000 people over a 16 year period, he knows a lot about how low self esteem leads to stress, and how stress leads to anger.   Promoting BAAM’s latest products of mediation, stress audits, conflict free resolutions, face-to-face Skype work and group stress programmes, Mike tells us how low self esteem has a direct correlation to stress.   He says that the idea of how stress affects low self esteem is actually pandemic in our culture, citing evidence that nearly all BAAM clients have the underlining issue of low self esteem.   When a person is suffering from low self esteem, there are five contributing factors.   Priority. If you don’t prioritise yourself, you will find you take on projects, activities or say yes to certain commitments because you aren’t considering how taking on somebody else’s prioritises, affects your own emotional wellbeing and health. If you don’t make yourself a priority in your own life, you will in effect be ignoring your own stress signs, ignoring what you are capable of doing and not capable of doing and ignoring your own limitations. Pressure. Through the years of helping people, Mike is aware of how many individuals put themselves under copious amounts of pressure to perform, which eventually exhausts them and they become ill. Mike has recognised the correlation between stress and anger. He says that stress fuels anger and gives us this simple formula to better understand it: Reduced Stress + Reduced Anger = Increased...

Young People and Anger

As society in general gets more and more angry with the world around them, it’s inevitable that their children will follow suit. Its commonly acknowledged that children are products of their upbringing and if anyone is to blame for their children’s behaviour, more often than not, you can point the finger at their parents. But is it really fair? Aren’t we all in the same boat, doing what we can to survive this ride we call life? Haven’t the parents got enough to deal with, as much as their children? Too many questions maybe, but questions worth asking. What makes young people angry? And can we as parents help them find peace with the world and peace with their inner emotions and feelings? In my book the answer will always be, yes we can! What makes young people angry? It’s the same for children and adults alike, but just in a different context. Jealously, rejection, anxiety, pressure and stress are felt by children as much as their parents. Children express their anger and stress in exactly the same way too. Adults and children alike shout, throw tantrums, smash things, throw things, hit things and hurt things. The things are also the same across the age spectrum, be it their toys, themselves or their loved ones. It can be argued that children get a worse deal than adults because children’s worries are dismissed without hesitation. We’ve all heard of the ‘Children must be seen and not heard’ rule of a more stricter age, and children are shouted down as a matter of routine. Stop it, shut up, don’t be so...

How to deal with University stress

Thousands of young men and women have gone to university this week. Some for the first time, some for the second and some for the last time. They’ve left home to spend their most formative years learning the skills to venture forth into the big wide world and get themselves a job on the strength of their academic results. Thousands of young men and women grinning with nerves as they wave their parents goodbye and turn their backs on their childhood. Nervous smiles as they ponder what to expect; making new friends and fitting in, managing their own finances, controlling their own time and deciding what to cook.   Many will prosper and have the time of their lives. Many will make friendships which will last a life-time and many will excel at their chosen subjects and go onto get their perfect jobs and enjoy a career of wealth, happiness and fulfilment. Many will fall at the first hurdle and many will succumb to the stresses and strains of university life and drop out. Many students go for the wrong reasons, be it to impress their parents or to get their parents off their backs. Many go simply because they have nothing else better to do and many go because the prospect of getting a job and working for a living fills them with dread. Whatever reason, the truth of the matter is stark; university throws up many hidden threats which can push the stress levels of any young person to their limits.   But not all Stress is Harmful. It’s with this in mind that you should remember...
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