Stress affecting kids like never before

A Big Lottery Fund commissioned survey has revealed shocking statistics, which paint a damning picture of the state of mind of our kids. 58% of them feel stressed or worried at least once a week, while one in six say they feel stressed daily, with almost half of kids losing sleep through stress, whilst more than one in ten are so worried they can’t eat. Desperately Sad It makes it all the more difficult to admit that the stress of the parents’ is being dumped on their kids like never before. Exams and tests are the most common source of worry for kids, while family issues aren’t far behind with kids being kept awake at night worrying about their parents arguing, splitting up or losing their jobs. Once upon a time all our kids had to worry about was getting back home in time for tea. Now-a-days parents don’t let their children out of their sight. If they aren’t in touching distance, they are in visible distance. Our kids no longer benefit from the space and freedoms, which earlier generations took for granted, and as a consequence, our kids are clearly suffering. How kids feel about themselves is paramount to what kind of parents they become. Experiencing stress at such an early age affects their self-esteem and confidence, without teaching them to understand their anger as a natural feeling; they will become victims of their own stress and ultimately go on to lead a life of unfulfilled potential. What the kids and parents may not appreciate is that stress is a direct response to anger Perhaps it is this,...

Stress and Low Self-Esteem

Mike Fisher is Europe’s leading expert on stress and anger management. As the founder of the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM), and having helped over 16,000 people over a 16 year period, he knows a lot about how low self esteem leads to stress, and how stress leads to anger.   Promoting BAAM’s latest products of mediation, stress audits, conflict free resolutions, face-to-face Skype work and group stress programmes, Mike tells us how low self esteem has a direct correlation to stress.   He says that the idea of how stress affects low self esteem is actually pandemic in our culture, citing evidence that nearly all BAAM clients have the underlining issue of low self esteem.   When a person is suffering from low self esteem, there are five contributing factors.   Priority. If you don’t prioritise yourself, you will find you take on projects, activities or say yes to certain commitments because you aren’t considering how taking on somebody else’s prioritises, affects your own emotional wellbeing and health. If you don’t make yourself a priority in your own life, you will in effect be ignoring your own stress signs, ignoring what you are capable of doing and not capable of doing and ignoring your own limitations. Pressure. Through the years of helping people, Mike is aware of how many individuals put themselves under copious amounts of pressure to perform, which eventually exhausts them and they become ill. Mike has recognised the correlation between stress and anger. He says that stress fuels anger and gives us this simple formula to better understand it: Reduced Stress + Reduced Anger = Increased...

Emotional Icebergs

Emotions can hit like a storm — out of the clear blue. And the raw intensity can be upsetting and leave you wondering what’s wrong with you. You think, “Oh I must be stressed.” That may be true, but here may be another reason why your emotions get so out of whack. That reason is likely an iceberg belief. It’s a thought or belief you have — about the world, yourself, the way people should act — that even you may not be aware of. It sits just below the surface and looms large enough that it gets in your way without you realising it. They’re called icebergs because only the tip is in our conscious awareness. The rest lies under water, below the level of awareness. Like a real iceberg, these thoughts can be difficult to steer around and can even sink the ship. They’re developed in childhood, before you’re even aware of them. And for the most part you take them for granted, and don’t realize they’re causing stress. But they are. How to Spot an Iceberg Belief One easy way to know one is that it includes “must” or “should” as in, “I must be the perfect parent,” or “if someone loves me, he should let me do whatever I want.” There are three different categories of iceberg beliefs, representing the different worlds or areas you occupy in your life: The achievement world includes school, work/career, official or unofficial roles at our church, your kid’s school, community boards. The people in this world are your teachers, bosses, colleagues and others involved in community activities. EXAMPLES: “Failure is a sign of weakness.”...

Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is a topic that is discussed amongst young people and in schools, but it often goes un-noticed outside of these environments. Whilst government advisors, educators, mental health experts and psychologists all agree that self-esteem is extremely important to our wellbeing, it’s not something often talked about. Those with high self-esteem tend to be more motivated in day-to-day tasks, have the ability to handle criticism, are able to take responsibility for their actions, take pride in their achievements and take control of their lives. Whilst people with low self-esteem might also be able to carry out many of the feats listed above, studies show that people with high self-esteem will on average perform more effectively and be happier. One of the main issues surrounding Self-esteem is the negative stigma that is often portrayed. Many people believe that having low self-esteem means that you suffer from depression – in reality, this is far from the truth, and causes people to worry unnecessarily about their mental health. Provoking Environment Self-esteem is prominent amongst children, and youngsters that do not view themselves as “perfect”, may show signs of developing low self-esteem. In today’s society image is so important, and whether you agree with it or not, kids are trying to look like their idols. Whether this means fasting to lose weight, spending money to appear rich, getting tattoos and piercings to look cool – the signs of low self amongst teenagers are everywhere, and it’s a worrying trend that needs addressing. Individuals in an unhappy relationship may also experience feelings of low self-esteem. Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, disgust, anger & disappointment...

Effects of the Lack of Attachment

Instability or disruption in relationships in the care system may give infants or children major problems in their ability to trust and therefore attach to parents or caregivers. The specific kinds of problems that are frequently shown by children who have experienced faulty attachments to their parents are as follows: Conscience Development May not show normal anxiety following aggressive or cruel behaviour May not show guilt when breaking rules or laws May project blame on others Impulse Control Exhibits poor control; depends on others to provide external control of behaviour Exhibits lack of foresight Has a poor attention span Self-Concept Sees self as undeserving Sees self as incapable of change Is unable to get satisfaction from tasks well done Has difficulty having fun Inter-personal Interactions Lacks trust in others Demands affection but lacks depth in relationships Exhibits hostile dependency Needs to be in control of all situations Has impaired social maturity Emotions Has trouble recognising own feelings Has difficulty expressing feelings appropriately, especially anger, sadness, frustration Has difficulty recognising feelings in others Cognitive Problems Has trouble with basic cause and effect Experiences problems with logical thinking Appears to have confused thought processes Has difficulty thinking ahead May have an impaired sense of time Has difficulties with abstract thinking Developmental Problems May have difficulty with auditory processing May have difficulty expressing self well verbally May have gross motor problems May experience delays in fine motor adaptive skills May experience delays in personal-social development May have inconsistent levels of skills in all of the above areas Unattached children have difficulty relating normally with others. How do the above problems relate to...

Stress and Low Self-Esteem

When a person is suffering from low self esteem, there are five contributing factors. Priority.If you don’t prioritise yourself, you will find you take on projects, activities or say yes to certain commitments because you aren’t considering how taking on somebody else’s prioritises, affects your own emotional wellbeing and health. If you don’t make yourself a priority in your own life, you will in effect be ignoring your own stress signs, ignoring what you are capable of doing and not capable of doing and ignoring your own limitations.  Pressure.Through the years of helping people, Mike is aware of how many individuals put themselves under copious amounts of pressure to perform, which eventually exhausts them and they become ill. Mike has recognised the correlation between stress and anger. He says that stress fuels anger and gives us this simple formula to better understand it: Reduced Stress + Reduced Anger = Increased Self Esteem. People who put themselves under pressure tend to be described by others as high achieves but low self esteemers. These people assume the only way to achieve is to embrace the pressure with open arms. The fallout of course being ill health, stress and anger.  Approval.We all seek other people’s approval to make us feel good about ourselves. ‘Positive Strokes’ as Mike would call it. ‘There are two components to this’, he would say, one is trying to prove yourself and two is seeking approval. By continually seeking approval and trying to prove yourself; what needs to be identified is how does it serve you and what do you get out of that? There is a connection between...
Loading...