by admin | May 29, 2014 | Anger, Depression, Resources, Stress, Young People
The headline promises, ‘Michael Gove, Education Secretary, has raised the possibility of longer school hours and shorter holidays.’ “Hooray,” you would expect parents to yell, “no more kids getting under our feet,” but what about the kids?Has anyone asked how the kids feel about working longer hours than any average child in Europe? In a world in which stress is a part of daily life, from keeping your boss happy, to keeping your partner happy, to keeping yourself happy, the demands are enormous and it’s often a stressful balancing act to keep everyone happy. Are politicians adding to the nation’s stress by targeting the youngest, whether it’s out of a genuine desire to improve their lives or more cynically to churn out more automotive slaves, the consequences are clear, kids will be more stressed than ever before. Stress on the rise My seven year old daughter went to sleep crying last night because she was scared about the art lesson the next day. Her fears centered on the teacher, who didn’t explain the frame-work of the lesson enough, which left my daughter feeling unsure of what to do. We all want to perform to the best of our ability and we all want to impress our peers around us. This applies even more to children, than adults. It starts as soon as kindergarten, with competitive play, which then turns the joy of learning into a struggle to excel. Excel in exams, friendship and keeping the teachers happy. Whether we are for them or against them, exams and the pressure to perform at school, creates considerable stress for our children. Compounded with sugary sweets and high...
by admin | May 29, 2014 | Anger, Domestic, Mike Fisher, Resources, Self-Esteem, Stress, Young People
A Big Lottery Fund commissioned survey has revealed shocking statistics, which paint a damning picture of the state of mind of our kids. 58% of them feel stressed or worried at least once a week, while one in six say they feel stressed daily, with almost half of kids losing sleep through stress, whilst more than one in ten are so worried they can’t eat. Desperately Sad It makes it all the more difficult to admit that the stress of the parents’ is being dumped on their kids like never before. Exams and tests are the most common source of worry for kids, while family issues aren’t far behind with kids being kept awake at night worrying about their parents arguing, splitting up or losing their jobs. Once upon a time all our kids had to worry about was getting back home in time for tea. Now-a-days parents don’t let their children out of their sight. If they aren’t in touching distance, they are in visible distance. Our kids no longer benefit from the space and freedoms, which earlier generations took for granted, and as a consequence, our kids are clearly suffering. How kids feel about themselves is paramount to what kind of parents they become. Experiencing stress at such an early age affects their self-esteem and confidence, without teaching them to understand their anger as a natural feeling; they will become victims of their own stress and ultimately go on to lead a life of unfulfilled potential. What the kids and parents may not appreciate is that stress is a direct response to anger Perhaps it is this,...
by admin | May 29, 2014 | Abuse, Anger, Christmas, Depression, Domestic, Emotions, Self-Awareness, Stress, Violence, Young People
Christmas is coming and the most stressful time of the year is drawing near. So much to do. The tree is top priority, followed closely by presents, food, drink and good-cheer in equal measure. Christmas is the most stressful time of the year. More than half of us have family disagreements and a quarter of us say our relationships with our partners come under immense pressure. We have never been under so much pressure to deliver a perfect Christmas. We’re lured into thinking Christmas is perfect by the glossy TV Christmas adverts, with celebrities smiling as they huddle around the Christmas tree exchanging gifts, beautifully wrapped. Everyone must be happy and cheerful through the season of goodwill. No one is allowed to be sad or depressed. NO ONE MUST GET ANGRY! Here’s what to do and not to do over Xmas. Prepare, prepare, prepare! Its the only way you’ll give yourself the time to relax and enjoy the day. Don’t give yourself a hard time making everything perfect. Stop and look at the bigger picture, its just one day! Think about the incidents, which press your buttons in all the wrong ways. Our buttons are unique to all of us and what makes one person angry is completely different to the next. Figure out a strategy of how you are going to deal with those circumstances, whether it’s a brother-in-law, mother-in-law or wife. Think about the Bigger Picture! Christmas is the one day that getting angry isn’t worth the long term consequences. You are never as good as your last...
by admin | May 29, 2014 | Anger, Domestic, Resources, Teenager, Young People
Here are 10 coping strategies to help you defuse. Article from Healthier Mummy. Find Article here I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get a bit angry and shouty with my children. It’s usually because they’re not listening, or they’re squabbling or faffing about while I’m trying to get their hair and teeth brushed before it’s time to leave for school. Sometimes it’s simply the level of noise – a house with three kids is lived at top volume, and it can make my head spin. Sometimes, however, I shout because I’m dead tired and ready for the day to end. And of course, they’re still not listening. But I don’t like myself much when I lose control with my kids, so recently I signed up for a course on understanding anger for parents run by the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM). Here are the top 10 things I learned: It’s not them, it’s you. Think about the last time you were angry with your children. ‘A parent doesn’t get angry because of what a child says or does,’ says Mike Fisher, director of BAAM. ’Instead you get angry because of a sense of momentary inadequacy – for that moment, you felt like a failure as a parent because you had no control over your child.’ He says that when your child pushes back against your rules, you feel you then have justification for getting angry. Listen carefully to your child. Many parents don’t listen properly, according to Mike. Ask your child what he needs, and hear what he has to say. Accept that it’s okay to have a different opinion. We all...
by admin | May 29, 2014 | Anger, Emotions, Mike Fisher, Self-Awareness, Teenager, Young People
As society in general gets more and more angry with the world around them, it’s inevitable that their children will follow suit. Its commonly acknowledged that children are products of their upbringing and if anyone is to blame for their children’s behaviour, more often than not, you can point the finger at their parents. But is it really fair? Aren’t we all in the same boat, doing what we can to survive this ride we call life? Haven’t the parents got enough to deal with, as much as their children? Too many questions maybe, but questions worth asking. What makes young people angry? And can we as parents help them find peace with the world and peace with their inner emotions and feelings? In my book the answer will always be, yes we can! What makes young people angry? It’s the same for children and adults alike, but just in a different context. Jealously, rejection, anxiety, pressure and stress are felt by children as much as their parents. Children express their anger and stress in exactly the same way too. Adults and children alike shout, throw tantrums, smash things, throw things, hit things and hurt things. The things are also the same across the age spectrum, be it their toys, themselves or their loved ones. It can be argued that children get a worse deal than adults because children’s worries are dismissed without hesitation. We’ve all heard of the ‘Children must be seen and not heard’ rule of a more stricter age, and children are shouted down as a matter of routine. Stop it, shut up, don’t be so...
by admin | May 29, 2014 | Emotions, Resources, Self-Awareness, Stress, Teenager, Young People
Thousands of young men and women have gone to university this week. Some for the first time, some for the second and some for the last time. They’ve left home to spend their most formative years learning the skills to venture forth into the big wide world and get themselves a job on the strength of their academic results. Thousands of young men and women grinning with nerves as they wave their parents goodbye and turn their backs on their childhood. Nervous smiles as they ponder what to expect; making new friends and fitting in, managing their own finances, controlling their own time and deciding what to cook. Many will prosper and have the time of their lives. Many will make friendships which will last a life-time and many will excel at their chosen subjects and go onto get their perfect jobs and enjoy a career of wealth, happiness and fulfilment. Many will fall at the first hurdle and many will succumb to the stresses and strains of university life and drop out. Many students go for the wrong reasons, be it to impress their parents or to get their parents off their backs. Many go simply because they have nothing else better to do and many go because the prospect of getting a job and working for a living fills them with dread. Whatever reason, the truth of the matter is stark; university throws up many hidden threats which can push the stress levels of any young person to their limits. But not all Stress is Harmful. It’s with this in mind that you should remember...
