What happens after you have completed an Anger Management Programme?

What happens after you have completed an Anger Management Programme? After saying goodbye to Mike Fisher and all the friends you’ve met over the weekend, the first promise you’ll make is to keep in touch and maintain that buddy support network, which Mike has been so keen on promoting all weekend. Getting into the car, or settling on the bus or train seat, you’ll reflect on the experience you’ve just been through. It’s been a weekend of deep emotions, of tears and frustrations. You’ve learnt things about yourself you never knew possible. You’ve brought up memories that were so deeply buried, you never would have guessed they had ever happened. You would have stepped out of your comfort zone and done something heroic. The first question you ask of yourself is, now what? Am I a different man or woman? Will I ever get angry or stressed again? Was it money well spent? You will soon come to realise it’s yes, yes and yes. You will be a different man and woman because you would have done something different to what you had always done. That decisive decision to take action would have taught you the skills to understand why you get angry and stressed, in ways you never knew possible. You will find yourself living in a new paradigm, of which you weren’t the day before.   You will learn about:     Managing Stress     The Consequences of Stress     Shaking the Apple Tree     The Feeling Wheel     Conflict Resolution     The Six Anger Styles     Three Communication Styles     The Detour Method     The Angry Brain...

When is Anger Good for You?

When is Anger Good for You? I’m always getting moaned at for getting angry. The last time it happened was when the kitchen bin was over filled and the plastic bag had been pushed down the sides and hard to get.  I never exploded with rage or anything like that, but I did curse and expressed my anger with a heavy huff and buff as I dug my hands into the rubbish to grab the sides to tie up and take it away. I took it as a natural reaction to a smelly and unpleasant experience, but my partner took it personally because she had just cleaned the kitchen and felt that my huff and buff was in somehow directed towards her, but of-course it wasn’t.  We’ve all been there. We’ve all had our buttons pressed, which resulted in our anger rearing it’s ugly head, but stop! Is it so bad to get angry every once and a while? After all, anger is indisputably a natural part of life, and in many cases expressing it can be healthy and beneficial. On a therapeutic level, it’s been widely accepted that repressing anger often leads to an accumulated affect and therefore exaggerated outbursts that negatively affect relationships and quality of life. While anger has been found to physiologically allow your body to release tension when its allowed to express itself. Suppressed anger equals a hell of a lot of stress Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re encouraged to express your anger at everything, or at the drop of a hat! Chronic rage sustained over a long period of time, causes both...

The Importance of Gratitude

The Importance of Gratitude Gratitude is a powerful emotion that we feel and implement into our day to day life. Gratitude is defined as feeling the quality of being thankful for something, or showing appreciation to those who treat us well and expose us to acts of kindness. Whilst most of us will subconsciously show signs of gratitude in our day to day life, in this article we are going to look at the importance of gratitude, and how our quality of life can be improved by further understanding our knowledge of gratitude and the way that we use it. A study was recently conducted in which two psychologists studied gratitude, and the effect that it had on our well-being. Michael McCollough and Robert Emmons selected several hundred participants for the study. The participants were off mixed sex, race, backgrounds and social groups as to make the study as impartial and accurate to the entire United States population as possible. Split into three groups, the participants were asked to keep a daily diary. The first group of people were instructed to document their day without being told to focus on good or bad things. The second group of people were asked to document unpleasant experiences only, whilst the third group only wrote down a list of things that they felt grateful for each day. After they had written in their diaries for a set amount of time, the results were collected and studied by the psychologists and their teams. The results showed that completing simple daily gratitude exercises such as keeping a diary helped all participants to experience higher...

Anger and New Beginnings

Anger and New Beginnings Christmas is a fading memory and the New Year fizz went pop weeks ago. Now what? Are we everything we want to be? Are we sticking to our New Year’s resolutions and ultimately, are we happy? 2014 is a new opportunity to learn more about ourselves. A new opportunity to learn what makes us tick and how we think, because how we think about ourselves has consequences for everyone around us. As the title alludes, anger is an emotion we are all familiar with. But why are we angry? That’s the question we could be asking. Why is it that on some days the kids can come home and dump their coats and bags on the floor and you pick them up with patience and a smile, while other days when their coats and bags are dumped on the floor, an almighty roar escapes you and you see red. Is it simply the fact they dropped their stuff unceremoniously, or is it something else? Somewhere inside of us we know that it’s usually something else! From attending a course with the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM), I got to understand why I get angry. Recognising this one simple aspect of what makes me tick, has opened up a whole treasure trove of understanding. I’m angry because I had a shameful childhood, which I kept suppressed from loved ones, friends and ultimately myself. I dealt with it then by believing in the fantasy of my own making, for example: “My mum was committed to a mental institution because she was a genius, born before her...

6 Months On

6 Months on – Will Storr shares his story It’s been six months since I went on Mike Fisher’s British Association of Anger Management (BAAM) course. Six months since I sat in a room with six strangers and revealed proudly to the world, I get angry and I’m here to do something about it. I remember it well. Mike Fisher has been running weekend workshops for over 17 years and has averaged out to have helped a 1000 people deal with their anger, for every year doing it. I love Will Storr’s description of anger, which he wrote for the Observer newspaper having been on Mike’s weekend course in 2007. “I can feel my rage. It collects in the centre of my throat. It’s like I’ve swallowed a cannonball and it makes me want to scream. I am brimful of anger, and when it sloshes out, it does so in the only direction it’s allowed to – at inanimate objects. I shout at keys I can’t find, at carrots I drop on the kitchen floor, at doors I stub my toe on. Last week I called a spilled glass of elderflower cordial a cunt.” There are six ways we express our anger; intimidation, interrogation, poor me, distancing, winding up and blunder bussing. I’m a bit of everything when I get angry. I’m a big man who looks scary in an aggressive, ‘I can kill you’ stance. I’m good at machine-gun spraying questions, while being a victim the next moment. I often walk away from situations having dropped an anger grenade in the room, leaving its victims to clear up...

Oxytocin: The Most Perfect Christmas Present Ever!

Christmas is coming and we’ve all got presents to buy, wrap and deliver, but what do we get our loved ones? What’s the most perfect Christmas present ever? Well look no further than Oxytocin. It’s free and the best present to make your loved one’s happy. Giving them Oxytocin this Christmas is as simple as giving a 15-minute Swedish massage, with positive feedback while you do it. The Best Things in Life really are Free While oxytocin is best known for its role in inducing labour and bonding with children, studies by the University of California, show its also vital in maintaining healthy relationships and building healthy psychological boundaries with other people. The study is the first look into the biological basis for human attachment and bonding. It shows oxytocin mediating emotional experiences in close relationships and is the hormone that triggers all mammals to build a nest and hug their babies close to their chests. From sheep accepting their lambs, to breast-feeding, to uterine contraction, to sexual orgasm, oxytocin is the hormone facilitating it all. The study tested twenty-six non-lactating women between the ages of 23 and 35, who were asked to recall and re-experience a past relationship event that caused them to feel a positive emotion, such as love or infatuation, and a negative emotion, such as loss or abandonment. Having massaged rats! To test the theory, the participants received a 15-minute Swedish massage to the neck and shoulders, which showed increased oxytocin levels. What surprised the researchers however, was a significant difference between women who reported distress and anxiety in their relationships and women who were...
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