by Hannah | Oct 11, 2016 | Media
You may find in life that some individuals are more guarded than others. For example they may talk freely about some topics and constrict the information they are giving you in other areas. Some people may just shut down completely. This is because they feel naturally inclined to protect themselves in certain situations. You may know someone like this or you may well be this person. If you are this person it is important not to bottle up your emotions. Suppressed anger is not healthy neither is suppressing your frustrations as this will lead to resentment towards the person who has hurt us. We often assume that other people should know what it is that they have done wrong. However, they are not mind readers so it is down to you to make them aware of your feelings, as often they do not even realise that they have hurt you. So the way that you express your anger is important. Some people are inherently uncomfortable with other people expressing their anger. This is down to their own personal experience. The same way you expressing your anger is down to yours. However, just as our experiences vary, how we express our anger varies as well. This is when it is time to communicate, let those close to you know how you are feeling and what actions occurred in order for you to feel that way. Sometimes our own selfish needs may cloud our judgement but it is important to share even if you are embarrassed about how you are feeling. Remember it is never a bad thing to...
by Hannah | Oct 11, 2016 | Media
Sometimes you do not get closure. You do not get an explanation or an apology. To find peace within yourself you will need to accept an apology that was never given. This is because by holding onto the anger that you feel over this injustice will wear you down. This goes for previous relationships, friendships or the playground bully. You want to be able to explain to the person who wronged you how you feel and show them the consequences of their actions. You want to feel in the right. You want them to be able to recognize what they did wrong. You want them to explain to you why they chose to do or act in the way that they did, you want an admission of guilt. And ultimately you want a resolution. But sometimes the only resolution is for you to walk away and let this intoxicating person go. Each of these previous examples will have hurt you in different ways, but the way we process and deal with our emotions in given situations are often the same. You may find yourself stuck in a reoccurring pattern, forever trapped in the same cycle; this may be because of the way you have chosen to deal or not deal with the emotional trauma and turmoil that you have experienced. You yourself may have brushed off the hurt from a failed relationship, broken friendship or the humiliation caused by your arch nemesis from your school days but you probably have not forgotten it. This may go a long way to explaining that smarting feeling you get when...
by Hannah | Sep 26, 2016 | Anger
Miscommunication or crossed-wires can cause anger. This is because we as humans do not like to feel like we are misunderstood. However, it is very important to look at the other person’s perspective in any given situation. It may be that you need to improve the way that you communicate your feelings to your friends and family. This may mean that you need to analyse your feelings alone or with a therapist before you bring up the issue with your friend or partner. As feelings are subjective, it is sometimes very hard for other people to see the reasons behind your behaviour. This means that unless you explain the reasons behind the hurt, the upset and the anger, that they are never going to understand where you are coming from. When dealing with someone who is expressing their feelings it is imperative that you do not invalidate their feelings and when you, yourself are expressing your feelings, point out that you do not appreciate anyone who attempts to invalidate yours. The other person is not you and therefore has no idea what you are feeling. The only way that the other person is going to realise how much they have hurt you is through you communicating and explaining to that person what they did wrong and how it made you feel. This then gives them a chance to explain their motives and what drove them to the behaviour; more often than not the person didn’t intend to hurt you or didn’t even realise that their actions would hurt your feelings. Miscommunication between men and women happen frequently...
by Hannah | Sep 25, 2016 | Anger
“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you” Joel Osteen It is true. Every day we have opportunities to get angry, when driving to work in a pleasant mood and you are suddenly cut up by an inconsiderate driver or working for the boss who is forever demeaning you or your co-worker who is trying to pass off your ideas as their own. There will always be something in your day that has the potential to throw you off track. But that is all it is: potential. You have the power over your own happiness and you have the power to make the decision and just let it go. Feeling angry is appropriate if someone has done something to hurt you out of malice. This is when you need your better judgement to decide whether that person had the intention of causing you harm. If the answer is no, then you need to make the conscious decision to let it go. Sometimes we ask advice from others but then find ourselves fighting off criticism or comments from a colleague or a friend. Stop and think to yourself, “is this person’s intention to cause me harm?” The colleague may be trying to help you impress your boss and your friend may just be trying to help you improve your relationship. Either way you need to assess people’s intentions before you blow your fuse. You...
by Hannah | Sep 25, 2016 | Media
As the world seems to be getting angrier, the need for anger coaches to help manage anger and stress is increasing exponentially, across the globe. With the hectic lifestyle more and more people are becoming accustomed to, the more people are missing out on a good night’s sleep, which, as we know, increases anger and irritability and decreases our tolerance for putting up with stressful situations. As well as the sleepless nights that come with this lifestyle, heavy workloads and fast approaching deadlines cause us to feel stretched, almost to the limit, and can reduce us to a puddle of mixed emotions, meaning that we are more likely to snap at our spouses, children and colleagues. This is where the anger coach comes in. The anger coach can help us to understand that when we get angry, we are often reduced to our most childlike self- we are unable to think rationally and behave accordingly. This is usually because the trigger- what made us angry in the first place- is often linked to a childhood situation where we were made to feel helpless or similar. It is therefore important that we reflect back and analyse our adult behaviour on this contemplation. Anger coaches are imperative to support and encourage us to recognise that the healthy expression of anger is a powerful opportunity for healing and transformation. Anger coaches facilitate groups, couples and individuals to better manage the negative forces of stress and anger in every aspect of our lives. The goal of the anger coach is to help us, the clients, to find healthy solutions when dealing...
