C.O.A.S.T Your Way to Staying Calm and Stress Free

Definition of coasting: 1 . Move easily without using power. 2 . Act or make progress without making much effort. Managing stress should be as easy and effortless … C. Co-operate with others We all know a problem shared is a problem halved. This is true in keeping calm and stress free too. Co-operation with others is essential to any project. Great projects are completed by teamwork and can’t be achieved alone. Together we can achieve great things, work more efficiently, and to everyone’s benefit. The essential part of any anger management programme is to co-operate with others by using a support network of a group of people, who you can call on to talk to and co-operate with, in your hour of need. Co-operation is an integral tool in keeping calm and stress free. O. Be observant and objective ‘Stop, think, take a look at the bigger picture’ is the first Rule of Anger Management. It’s about being aware before reacting to a situation. People tend to deal with stressful situations on an emotional level. Lost in the ‘Red Mist’, you will more often than not find yourself in a police cell waiting for your solicitor to bail you out, when you could have stopped, thought about it, and looked at the bigger picture before reacting emotionally and getting yourself in trouble. It’s about being in the present moment and being aware of what is transpiring around you. A. Attitude Watch your attitude, and remember empathy does get results. It’s so easy to resort back to the mentality of our childhoods when we are angry and stressed. Maturity...

Stylist Magazine Article about Anger Management, BAAM

Aaaaargh! We are a nation of hotheads who can’t get through one day without getting irate. In a bid to calm down, Stylist investigates anger management I knew I’d made a mistake the moment I pushed her. It was as if my arms had become separated from my body, fuelled by the heat rising from the pit of my stomach and spreading across my chest. Yes, we were both drunk, and yes, we were having a blazing row, but I was the one who made it physical. When I look back on that night I can see I was out of control. I’d never laid a hand on anyone before, let alone one of my oldest and dearest friends. And although it was only a shove, it was enough to dampen our friendship forever. This is not the only time I’ve given my mind over to anger. There have been thoughtless spiky comments which reduced my mother to tears; a close call with the LAPD after an argument with a bouncer on holiday (I told him he’d never satisfied a woman); and an entire five-year relationship that was blighted with snide, passive aggressive taunts. I look back on these occasions and feel physically sick (although I can raise a smile about the bouncer) because most of the things I regret in my life happened when I was angry. But I know I’ve got company. Picture how you felt the last time someone sidled in front of you at a bar. Or when you were on hold for 45 minutes, only to be passed between five people, just to get...

Emotional Icebergs

Emotions can hit like a storm — out of the clear blue. And the raw intensity can be upsetting and leave you wondering what’s wrong with you. You think, “Oh I must be stressed.” That may be true, but here may be another reason why your emotions get so out of whack. That reason is likely an iceberg belief. It’s a thought or belief you have — about the world, yourself, the way people should act — that even you may not be aware of. It sits just below the surface and looms large enough that it gets in your way without you realising it. They’re called icebergs because only the tip is in our conscious awareness. The rest lies under water, below the level of awareness. Like a real iceberg, these thoughts can be difficult to steer around and can even sink the ship. They’re developed in childhood, before you’re even aware of them. And for the most part you take them for granted, and don’t realize they’re causing stress. But they are. How to Spot an Iceberg Belief One easy way to know one is that it includes “must” or “should” as in, “I must be the perfect parent,” or “if someone loves me, he should let me do whatever I want.” There are three different categories of iceberg beliefs, representing the different worlds or areas you occupy in your life: The achievement world includes school, work/career, official or unofficial roles at our church, your kid’s school, community boards. The people in this world are your teachers, bosses, colleagues and others involved in community activities. EXAMPLES: “Failure is a sign of weakness.”...

Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is a topic that is discussed amongst young people and in schools, but it often goes un-noticed outside of these environments. Whilst government advisors, educators, mental health experts and psychologists all agree that self-esteem is extremely important to our wellbeing, it’s not something often talked about. Those with high self-esteem tend to be more motivated in day-to-day tasks, have the ability to handle criticism, are able to take responsibility for their actions, take pride in their achievements and take control of their lives. Whilst people with low self-esteem might also be able to carry out many of the feats listed above, studies show that people with high self-esteem will on average perform more effectively and be happier. One of the main issues surrounding Self-esteem is the negative stigma that is often portrayed. Many people believe that having low self-esteem means that you suffer from depression – in reality, this is far from the truth, and causes people to worry unnecessarily about their mental health. Provoking Environment Self-esteem is prominent amongst children, and youngsters that do not view themselves as “perfect”, may show signs of developing low self-esteem. In today’s society image is so important, and whether you agree with it or not, kids are trying to look like their idols. Whether this means fasting to lose weight, spending money to appear rich, getting tattoos and piercings to look cool – the signs of low self amongst teenagers are everywhere, and it’s a worrying trend that needs addressing. Individuals in an unhappy relationship may also experience feelings of low self-esteem. Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, disgust, anger & disappointment...

Anger And Steroids

The effects of steroids on a persons mental well-being have been discussed a lot in the media recently, and the incident with Oscar Pistorius has caused many professionals to question the link between steroid takers and their anger levels. Murders and aggressive attacks have often been linked to steroid use, but the way that using steroids affects your anger has often been overlooked and un-researched. It’s clear that urgent research must be carried out in order to better understand the links between steroid use and anger. When a user enters steroids into their body, they are injecting testosterone into themselves. Whilst users may look at the physical effects as a positive, the mental issues steroid use can cause can be devastating. Many steroid users are known to have severe mental health difficulties, and regular users are often reported to develop psychosis Steroid use generally makes people more aggressive, hostile and agitated, but this has never been linked to real anger – simply a side effect of taking the drug. In order to prevent tragedy and further attacks, research needs to be done to look at the links between steroid use and anger, and how to minimize the change of aggressive behaviour. Whilst steroid use may never be cut out completely, the sooner people realize how dangerous they can be the more lives can be saved and the more people can live a normal, happy life. If you feel that you are experiencing anger issues, head over to our courses page, where you can find a range of different treatment packages to suit...

Domestic Violence: man on woman, or woman on man?

The media heavily influences our conceptions of gender-based violence. Instances of violence and abuse towards women are far more ubiquitous than those of women against men. It could not be clearer than on the cover of this months VOGUE magazine. Stephanie Seymour is seen in a striking image whereby a male model is behind her, with his hand over her throat- in what had been widely associated with choking. The image is also very sexual because he is cupping her breast. Women’s Rights Advocacy Groups have asked Conde Nast to remove the magazine from circulation immediately. They see the image as ‘glorifying violence against women as an act of love.’ The magazine cover is seen to be using violence against women as fashionable and to sell magazines. An example of ‘woman on man’ domestic violence is a recent attack on Royce Ali by his girlfriend. His girlfriend, Andrea Madden, stabbed him over a row about her diet pills. Madden was jailed for 7 years after being found guilty of wounding Ali with intent. Ali spoke out and said that all victims of domestic violence should speak out instead of sitting in silence- be it male or female. In an article entitled Gender-Role Stereotypes and Perceptions of Heterosexual, Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence by S. M. and E.P. Seelau, it is said that non-protocol cases of domestic violence are often over-looked. Domestic violence perpetrated by men against women is judged more serious than violence perpetrated by women or against men. The perception that male perpetrators are more capable of injuring victims and that female victims are more likely to suffer serious injury, is...
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